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geek rap contest (англ.) - Поклонник деепричастий [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Anatoly Vorobey

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geek rap contest (англ.) [окт. 30, 2006|02:37 pm]
Anatoly Vorobey

Эта запись будет интересна только программистам. Поверьте мне :)

К тому же, она по-английски. И включает в себя совершенно ужасные стихи на компьютерную тему. Я предупреждал!

gaal started the contest by throwing this at me:

You don't know the halting problem, you don't know what your fate is
Your crack code, it's so slow, it turns Crays into Z80s
Yo mamma begs for my monads and it ain't just for the IO
STM tranforms her good and her scalability's high, yo

I overrun all your buffers, I got shellcode in your heap
Your robotic boat's moronic, it keeps luffing while you sleep
All your waits are busy loops, all your base belong to me
It's not safe for you brother, you better not code in C

Clearly, it's on. My reply is:

Your pathetic shellcode ain't touching my stack,
'cos you hack like you're on crack, and you don't know jack,
'cos yo mamma when she had you was on BASIC way back,
you're brain fucking dead, only good for a smack

I'ma nice you up to twenty, put you in chroot jail,
all your mallocs will be zeros, your assertions will fail
so when you whine for LD_PRELOAD, me I'm just gonna chill
'cos you may talk the talk but you can't escape the kill().

Хотите к нам присоединиться? Оставляйте ваши версии в комментах. Для ознакомления - классика жанра.


From: natsla
2006-10-30 12:43 pm
Не, ну all yo base belong to me понятно даже мне :)
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[User Picture]From: cax
2006-10-30 01:21 pm
How are you gentlemen !! You are on the way to destruction.
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[User Picture]From: cax
2006-10-30 01:37 pm
Обнаружил на сайте, посвящённом All Your Base, обалденный flash-ролик под названием "Zero Wing Rhapsody". Валяюсь под столом в судорогах от смеха.
На сайте он называется "Video 3".
На работе не смотреть, а то сотрудники вызовут вам скорую или психиатра :)
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From: 9000
2006-10-30 12:43 pm
Ссылка на классику жанра -- то, что высплыло в голове после первой строчки.

См. тж. http://www.rhymetorrents.com/halloween/ (via /.)
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[User Picture]From: gaal
2006-10-30 12:51 pm
I suspend your debugger only to resume it when you start another
I will bring you to your knees, drive up your datacenter cooling fees
I flow between your fingers fill your keyboard up with grease

You can randomize your stack, you can jumble up your heap
My return address is there already smashing you neck deep
'Cos your SQL was quoted
Just like Microsoft ain't bloated
You're injected and my rootkits they just reap, reap, reap
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From: yuval_kogman
2006-10-30 01:34 pm
To all 'em MCs who think that they be better
I bet you can't write Perl that don't contain no space and letters
I'll parse you bottom up with hyper arrow combinators
You foos and bars ain't naught but outsourced mental masturbators

I meta-mama, met yo mama, she optimized my monads, she be collecting my space leaks
64 bit big endian resolved her forking woes for weeks
Coz I got strong types representin' my class
And if i don't get some respect i'll get meta-evil on your ass
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From: 9000
2006-10-30 01:43 pm

Extra credit for "64 bit big endian" :))
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[User Picture]From: avva
2006-10-30 01:55 pm
Yo typing be all static, hey move up with the times,
If you can't typechange at runtime you end up having shit for rhymes,
And let me tell you something bro, yo technique is a mess
'Cos when shit gets real you just stand there with yo immutable ass.

I'm gonna take your combinators and put them in a bind,
Your 64 bit ain't scaring me, real men have 69!
So when your fancy parser explodes in your face,
You'll get to know exactly who's claiming all your base.
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From: yuval_kogman
2006-10-30 02:09 pm
Shots of lead inside your tests at 3.14 * .357 # pronounce three foureen by three five seven
Your code 2k log 2 and 2 hect -- yo it's 211 # two eleven (see http://xrl.us/svfe entry on 211)
Your hardware owned, your validation violated
Your sql injected, 'capsulation 'nihilated

Fo shizzle your tiny scripts ain't got nuthin on me
My language is so shiny, my syntax sugary
My compiler sweares in VLIW, it types my types for me
And your 69 ain't no natural log, when was your surgery? # by natural i mean a natural number, log 2, not log in the natural base

My compiler loads dynamic code, recompiling with FRP # well, hypothetically. It isn't written yet ;-)
It's dynamic static synnergy of higher order glee
Go read apache's error_log and search for 'undefined' # well.. uninitialized, but that's not the right number of syllables
Have fun with all your run time errs, bereft of peace of mind

Note that I'm participating in this static/dynamic duel simply for the sport.
I'm a scripter myself ;-)
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[User Picture]From: gaal
2006-10-30 02:13 pm
Too much annotation man will ruin your flow
Gotta hold it straight and aim it press the trigger and blow.
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From: yuval_kogman
2006-10-30 02:15 pm
The annotations are sung by my crew in the background...
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[User Picture]From: gaal
2006-10-30 02:22 pm
Your crew in the background can rap like Paul Allen.
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[User Picture]From: avva
2006-10-30 02:34 pm
Note that I'm participating in this static/dynamic duel simply for the sport.
I'm a scripter myself ;-)

Yeah, I understand :)
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[User Picture]From: avva
2006-11-01 07:18 pm

Re: Them's fighting words!

I have neither the time nor the patience required to answer this in kind, but I just wanted to say that this was bloody brilliant :)
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[User Picture]From: syarzhuk
2006-11-05 12:47 pm

Re: Them's fighting words!

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[User Picture]From: bugabuga
2006-10-30 02:18 pm
Please be without subwoofer, please be without subwoofer, please be without subwoofer.

Мало обычных репперов громыхающих машинами, теперь будут ещё и программистские :)
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[User Picture]From: avva
2006-10-30 03:01 pm
Haha, KILL DASH NINE is awesome. New instant classic from Monzy!
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[User Picture]From: lestp
2006-10-30 05:22 pm
Monads (whatever that is) should be rhymed with gonads.
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From: yuval_kogman
2006-10-30 06:57 pm
Monads are used here as a metaphor for gonads.
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[User Picture]From: oxfv
2006-10-30 07:46 pm
Язык Turbo Basic не доведет до добра,
Иди учи Ершовец и экстракоды ядра.
Забудь GBс of memory - говори "тысячи метров мозгов",
И твоя куча, а не heap, defragmented на сотни кусков.

Ты думал, у тебя PC - а у тебя ЭВМ,
Писал конечный автомат, получил АКМ,
И все твои условные "когда" потеют в цикле,
Им от роду сто лет, они к pipeline prediction не привыкли.

А маме бы твоей мозгов добавить не мешает,
Ты с нею трахался fortnight, она теперь дымится и воняет,
А просто вместо Pentium Core Duo надо вхерачить Эльбрус,
And rack-mount the bastard on the Cross made of сосновый брус.
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[User Picture]From: avva
2006-10-30 11:47 pm
Извращенец :)
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[User Picture]From: 109
2006-11-01 10:32 am
теперь надо ещё интернациональный забацать, русско-английский 50/50.
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[User Picture]From: dimrub
2006-10-30 07:50 pm
Снимаю шляпу и поднимаю руки :)
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2017-07-02 09:07 pm

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