о литературных мечтаниях

А не набирал что ни вечер по семи книг, прочесть из каждой по две страницы? Я был молод. Раскланивался сам с собой в зеркале, пресерьезно выходил на аплодисменты, поразительное лицо. Ура отпетому идиоту! Урря! Никто не видел - никому не рассказывай. Собирался написать книги, озаглавив их буквами. А вы прочли его "Ф"? Конечно, но я предпочитаю "К". А как изумительна "У". О да, "У"! Припомни свои эпифании на зеленых овальных листах, глубочайше глубокие, копии разослать в случае твоей кончины во все великие библиотеки, включая Александрийскую. Кому-то предстояло их там прочесть через тысячи лет, через махаманвантару. Как Пико делла Мирандола. Ага, совсем как кит. Читая одну за одной страницы одинокого однодума кого уж нет не одну сотню лет будто сливаешься заодно с тем одиночкой который как-то однажды...

Reading two pages apiece of seven books every night, eh? I was young. You bowed to yourself in the mirror, stepping forward to applause earnestly, striking face. Hurray for the Goddamned idiot! Hray! No-one saw: tell no-one. Books you were going to write with letters for titles. Have you read his F? O yes, but I prefer Q. Yes, but W is wonderful. O yes, W. Remember your epiphanies written on green oval leaves, deeply deep, copies to be sent if you died to all the great libraries of the world, including Alexandria? Someone was to read them there after a few thousand years, a mahamanvantara. Pico della Mirandola like. Ay, very like a whale. When one reads these strange pages of one long gone one feels that one is at one with one who once ...

That was some good stuff, if only he could remember it through the rest of his stroll and the coming storm, to scrawl in a passionate hand in his yellow pad. He thought with longing ardor of his blank yellow pad, he thought. He thought with longing ardor of his blank yellow pad on which, this selfsame day, his fame would be wrought, no, on which, this selfsame day, the first meager scrawlings which would presage his nascent burgeoning fame would be wrought, or rather writ, and someday someone would dig up his yellow pad and virtually cry eureka when they realized what a teeming fragment of minutiae, and yet crucial minutiae, had been found, and wouldn't all kinds of literary women in short black jackets want to meet him then!