Anatoly Vorobey (avva) wrote,
Anatoly Vorobey
avva

программистский юмор (англ.)

(из внутрирабочего мемохранилища. Для тех, кому любопытно, вот ссылка на истоки жанра)

  • You have a problem and decide to use recursion.
    Now you have a problem.

  • You have a problem and decide to use Java.
    Now you have a ProblemFactory.

  • You have a problem and decide to use Python.
    Now you don't know what you have. Could be an int, a string, a list or a problem.

  • You have a problem and decide to use threads.
    Two now problems have you.

  • You have a problem and decide to use Lisp.
    Now you have a list of problems.

  • You have a problem and decide to use locks.
    Now you have

  • You have a problem and decide to use delegation.
    Now your problem is your problem's problem.

  • You have a problem and decide to use anagrams.
    Now you have lamb rope.

...И мой любимый вариант...

  • You have a problem and decide to dissolve it in water.
    Now you have a solution.
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You have a problem and decided to use jQuery
now you have a $('problem')

You have a problem and decided to use Haskell
now you have a lazy problem
You have a problem and decided to use Forth
problem a have you now
You have a problem and decide to use С.
ow you have a pYou have a problem and decide to use С.
You have a problem and decide to use STL.
Now you have a _Hashtable_iterator<std::pair<const basic_string<char, str::char_traits<char>, std::allocator<char> >, int>, basic_string<char, std::char_traits<char>, std::allocator<char > >...

plakhov

8 years ago

You have a problem and decide to use XP.
Now you have the monkey-problem.
:D
You have a deferred problem and decide to use short-circuit evaluation.
Now your problem is current.

You have a problem and decide to try exception handling.
Now you have exceptional problems.
Ты забыл еще вот этот, например:

You have a problem and decide to use STL
Now you have a _Hashtable_iterator<std::pair<const basic_string<char, std::char_traits<char>, std::allocator<char> >, int>, basic_string<char, std::char_traits<char>, std::allocator<char> >...
А так же вот это очень нравится: You have a problem, and decide to use floating point.
Now you have 2.00000001 problems.

avva

8 years ago

You have a problem and decide to use HTML.
Now you have a <big>problem</big>
You have a problem and decide to use J.
Now you have a puzzle.

Anonymous

July 4 2011, 15:09:39 UTC 8 years ago

You have a problem and decide to use Matlab.
Now you have double problem.
Может быть буду в Тель-Авиве в след. выходные. Кофе?
Я не пью кофе :) но все остальное - с удовольствием. Обязательно дайте знать, если будете.
You have a problem and decide to use Wikipedia.
Now problem needs citation.
В последнем нужно поменять water на alcohol, получится более правдоподобно.
#if you use Python, there could be no problem!
#Just write
if type(a)==problem:
a=int(a)
#now you definitely have int instead of problem!
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