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ночные стихи: английские садистские стихи - Поклонник деепричастий [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Anatoly Vorobey

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ночные стихи: английские садистские стихи [окт. 9, 2003|05:19 am]
Anatoly Vorobey
Вместо одного ночного стихотворения на этот раз будет несколько, все по-английски, все юмористические, и почти все с садистким уклоном.

Два из них принадлежат перу Хаусмана, кстати. Особенно его "Hallelujah" мне очень нравится.
Самое последнее стихотворение — не садистское, а просто поучительное.

  • Quiet Fun

    My son Augustus, in the street, one day,
    Was feeling quite exceptionally merry.
    A stranger asked him: 'Can you tell me, pray,
    The quickest way to Brompton Cemetery?'
    'The quickest way? You bet I can!' said Gus,
    And pushed the fellow underneath a bus.

    Whatever people say about my son,
    He does enjoy his little bit of fun.

    by Harry Graham.

  • Infant Innocence

    The Grizzly Bear is huge and wild;
    He has devoured an infant child.
    The infant child is not aware
    It has been eaten by the bear.

    by A.E.Housman

  • Hallelujah

    'Hallelujah!' was the only observation
    That escaped Lieutenant-Colonel Mary Jane,
    When she tumbled off the platform in the station,
    And was cut in little pieces by the train.
        Mary Jane, the train is through yer:
        Hallelujah, Hallelujah!
    We will gather up the fragments that remain.

    by A.E.Housman

  • The Bread-knife Song

    A little child was sitting upon her mother's knee
    And down her cheeks the bitter tears did flow,
    And as I sadly listened, I heard this tender plea,
    'Twas uttered in a voice so soft and low:

    "Please Mother don't stab Father with the bread-knife.
    Remember 'twas a gift when you were wed.
    But if you must stab Father with the bread-knife,
    Please Mother use another for the bread."

    "Not guilty" said the Jury and the Judge said "Set her free,
    But remember it must not occur again.
    And next time you must listen to your little daughter's plea."
    Then all the Court did join in this refrain:

    "Please Mother don't stab Father with the bread-knife.
    Remember 'twas a gift when you were wed.
    But if you must stab Father with the bread-knife,
    Please Mother use another for the bread."

    by Robert Service

  • That Head

    I suppose I've pass him a hundred times,
    but I always stop for a minute
    And look at his head, that tragic head,
    the head with nobody in it.

    by Jerce Bullmer

From: (Anonymous)
2003-10-08 09:05 pm
Hallelujah, Hallelujah!
и вот это
We will gather up the fragments that remain.

очень актуальные стихи в Ваших устах, considering...

(feeling merry)
(Ответить) (Thread)
From: skeptiq
2003-10-08 09:28 pm
Наш маленький Билли рыдает так громко,
Бедняжка, он так огорчен!
Сломал он всего-то лишь шею сестренке,
И сладкого к чаю лишен.

(Из какого-то оруэлловского эссе)
(Ответить) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: homa
2003-10-08 11:28 pm
Теплым гноем запивать
И хрустящими болячками закусывать...

В детстве такие стишата нравится почти всем, но потом очень многих начинает подташнивать. Уж не знаю, почему.
(Ответить) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: rippenbiest
2003-10-08 11:46 pm
Mary put her little daughter
For twenty minutes under water,
Not to get her rid of troubles,
But just to see the funny bubbles.
(Ответить) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: turgutmakbak
2003-10-08 11:49 pm
Вспомнил по этому поводу одно стихотворение Храброва, и садистское, и поучительное:

Умер джигит на чужбине,
Ростом велик и неглуп.
В тесной стиральной машине
Не помещается труп.

А вообще я в качестве страшилок на ночь больше люблю рассказы. Вот, например, у Роальда Даля много хороших.
(Ответить) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: turgutmakbak
2003-10-09 12:00 am
Еще вспомнил: у Тома Лерера есть очень смешная "Ирландская баллада" в этом же духе.
(Ответить) (Thread)
From: (Anonymous)
2003-10-09 05:28 am
There goes the little moron;
He is a happy man.
I wish *I* were a moron...
My God! Perhaps I am!

And of course the old favorite:

I saw a man upon the stair,
The little man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today--
Gee, I wish he'd go away!

(Ответить) (Thread)
From: ex_ilyavinar899
2003-10-09 08:16 am
Little Willie, full of glee,
Put radium in grandma's tea,
Now he thinks it's quite a lark
To see her shining in the dark.
(Ответить) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: yms
2003-10-09 12:56 pm
Кто бы Олега Григорьева перевёл...
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[User Picture]From: dashi_ell
2003-10-09 04:23 pm
Какое Infant Innocence трогательно-философское. Жаль, Стоппард в пьсу не включил. Еще больше люблю Хаусмана.
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